Photo via Crazy Days and Nights
• Upon finding out that her image is being used on the business cards of an adult superstore in Calexico, CA, Scarlett Johansson had this to say, "I applaud TMZ's, once again, award winning investigative journalism for securing the knowledge of my legions of Mexican fans." I guess once your phone has been hacked and your naked photos spread up and down the Internet, a fully-clothed sex store endorsement ain't no thang. [E! Online]
• Zooey Deschanel is not all that interested in having babies, which is either a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how you feel about those big eye kid paintings from the 60s. [Just Jared]
• Amanda Bynes' dad says that, although Amanda spent Thursday night at the Standard Hotel bar, was arrested for D.U.I. Friday morning, then tried to return to the bar mere hours later, she's a good girl who does not drink. She was arrested for being "too emotional," is all. You know the wimmins — always emotional to the point of incarceration. And with that, Rick Bynes becomes the new Dina "Lindsay's a good girl being bullied by the media" Lohan.
• Maybe this video of a drunk Amanda Bynes stumbling out of a bar a few weeks ago will change her dad's mind? (Though hopefully not. If he's going to go full Lohan, he'll have to come up with a proper enabler explanation, like that Amanda had cramps so badly she took half a Midol and it affected her since she's been on a special gluten-free diet lately and also she's dehydrated — yeah, dehydrated. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan is adamant that she was not at the Standard Hotel Thursday night, when a woman says she was attacked by Lohan, and is asking cops to investigate the accuser. Just a thought: Amanda "Good Girl" Bynes was at the Standard the night the alleged attack happened. Perhaps the accuser has her drunk, former child stars confused? [TMZ]
• No matter what you think about Nadya "Octomom" Suleman's decision to go on welfare to support her 14 kids, smashing her car window and leaving a note that reads "Leave California or you will die" is not appropriate. [TMZ]
• Tom Hanks is in talks to star as Walt Disney in Saving Mr. Banks, the story of Walt Disney's struggle to bring Mary Poppins to the big screen. Emma Thompson will play author P.L. Travers, who was said to have hated the movie version of her popular story. I love Hanks, but we all know Ry Ry Gos would make a killer Disney. [HuffPo]
• Condolences to Dita Von Teese, whose 16-year old dachsund, Eva, died yesterday. [People]
• Decide for yourself which is more disturbing: a photo of the late Steve Irwin's young son, Bob, feeding crocodiles at his family's zoo now, or a photo of Irwin feeding a crocodile back in the day while holding the vaguely food-looking infant Bob in his arms. [TMZ]
• This story has nothing to do with celebrity gossip, but the headline made me gag/laugh, so I'm sharing: "Bugs are pooping diseases into your mouth." Hahaha VOM. [Jezebel]
• Blind item: "This Academy Award winning actress who is an A+ lister apparently still believes in old flames. She has slept with her ex boyfriend a few times in the past year because she just can't get him out of her head. I wonder what her A+ list actor boyfriend would think of it."
• Blind item: "This A+ list movie actor had a very unusual girlfriend for his first celebrity fling. She was probably a B+ list movie actress at the time and is now still a wacky B- with other interests. Our actor had never met her, but told the male producer he could not sleep with him to get a part back in the day because he had a girlfriend. Hers was the first one he came up with and had to stay with her until the producer finally gave up."
• Blind item: "This A+ list Academy Award winning actress despises her husband's best friend. The best friend is also an A list actor. Turns out the actor hit on her while she was pregnant." [CDaN]
[Featured image: Reuters]
