Zooey Deschanel in every role I've ever seen her play. Drew Barrymore half the time.
that one girl, she's so fucking special, she's "different", she makes you think things are gonna be okay, she pushes you to be better, she walks on the wild side, cartwheels in the street, can drink with the boys, is talented and cute and you can't believe she exists.
it's because she doesn't.
a more accurate depiction of that archetypal load of shit would be Clementine in Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, my favorite movie ever, because dammit we aren't really like that.
we aren't that cute and special. we're incredibly fucked up, that's why we seem different. we push you to be better because we can't be. we do our best to be interesting and beautiful and fantastic so that you'll be captivated, but we can only keep it up for so long.
it's not on purpose.
we just don't have it in us to BE us, because we've been told/shown that the "real" girl inside is such a disaster that she needs to disappear. we reinvent ourselves and try again, and once the facade starts to slip, the guy runs away so fast you wonder if he ever gave a shit at all.
I do it all the time, I don't mean to. Yes, I can sing and according to what people say I'm cute, I'm quirky and different. I am not your perfect little hippie-flower-child-manic-pixie-dream-girl. My life is a big mess, there's always something going on, I have problems, and if you spend enough time around me, you'll see that there are a whole lot of things about where I am and where I've been that have done some damage. my shit rears its ugly head, you think you got duped, where's the badass chick you met at the bar last week? In reality, you just found out that I'm an actual fucking person with just as many issues as you, so you shove me out of your life because that's easier than manning the fuck up and seeing what's beneath some of that shit.
No one ever has.
by the end of every relationship or fling or god-knows-what you've given up the ideation you had of me when we met, and you loved/liked/wanted her, so now that she's "dead", you're gone, and its my fault, because "I changed" or "its just different now".
Go fuck yourself.
I have a hell of a lot to give. If you stuck around, you'd see that. People who know me well, who've been there for awhile and have seen me at my best and worst will tell you that I'd throw myself in front of a bus for anyone I care about. I go out of my way to make other people happy and cater to what they want. I pay for and buy the most ridiculous shit for people just because I know it'll brighten their day or be something memorable or whatever other excuse I can find, I write songs and I dance and sing my heart out ALL THE TIME, I'm a damn good writer, and you will never find someone who cuddles better than I do.
Eating disorders and family stuff and shit with people in my life who probably shouldn't be there does not make me a waste of your time, and it's about time somebody said it.
