"Siri!" My sister yelled at her phone to ask the question a forth time, "What time does Whataburger start serving breakfast?" Despite our persistent efforts to have the newly famous female voice of Apple's iPhone provide us with some useful information, it never came through. Although Apple and its followers have touted Siri as a revolution in smartphone technology, I don't believe our hold-up was an isolated incident. I've seen friends and family have fun playing with Siri, who will respond to just about anything you ask of it (or should I call the software a human pronoun like "her"?). Despite it's ability to tell a joke, answer trivia questions, and provide extensive explanations for simple math equations such as 2+2, Siri always seems to fail in situations where it could actually be useful.
Source: Flickr / Michael Dorausch
The common quip among iPhone users is becoming something along the lines of "Siri only works for celebrities" due to Apple's advertisements featuring Samuel L. Jackson, Zooey Deschanel, and John Malkovich, which feature the actors seeming to get along fine with her help and artificial company. This imaginative – if not deceptive – demonstration is exactly what Apple wants us to see in the potential of Siri, but will never come true. The idea of a human-like robot inside our gadgets who is ready to help us with any task sounds great, but I question whether this sci-fi dream is possible and seriously doubt that Siri is what we're looking for.
Rather than assume Siri is a technological innovation dreamed of decades before, it would be more accurate to compare Siri to Miller Light's Vortex Bottle (a design on the inside of beer bottles which directs the flow in a cyclonic direction as it pours out, supposedly making the beer better in some way). Like Apple, Miller created an additional feature for its already-popular product which it claimed would increase its value to customers. Also like Miller, the new "improvement" is heavily advertised despite the fact that in practice the change does little to affect overall satisfaction. What am I trying to say? Like the strange and unnecessary Vortex Bottle, Siri is nothing more than a gimmick.
Apple fans may be offended by this, as I know some of them tend to get emotional about their favorite electronics, but any objective look at the usefulness of Siri will probably turn up results similar to the ones I've observed. With all of its products, Apple likes to promote certain characteristics which aren't exactly practical but look cool and seem futuristic. Siri is the most unashamed and prominent example of this technique. Smart phones are amazingly practical, but Siri is less important to their practicality than the color you choose or the ringtone you set. Anyone rushing to the store to buy beer in a vortex bottle or a phone that can hold a conversation with you will be sorely disappointed in the effectiveness of either one.
