Friday, January 25, 2013

If We Were the Stylist, Sophia Bush Wouldn't be Blinded by Bangs ...


Clare Bowen’s legs wouldn’t look they’re growing moss, Jessica Alba wouldn’t have taken a muppet to the Golden Globes, and other celeb style fixer-uppers.


Do you ever see a pic of a celeb looking like a hot mess and wonder how, with all of the stylists, designers, makeup artists and Hunger Games-style prep teams behind this girl, did this happen? Us too. That’s why we’ve created a game where we get to reimagine celeb style snafus—if only we were their stylists.


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Sophia Bush is Blinded by Bangs


This isn’t an ironic vintage bridal photo—it’s Sophia Bush at the Golden Globes after party wearing a white Denise Ho dress with a sheer skirt and sleeves that they haven’t come up with a name for yet, doing her best Jessica Biel impersonation with bangs that are so long she probably can’t see. I’m not sure if trimming the bangs would make the dress more appealing or if she lost the dress her bangs would become more understandable, but I’m interested in finding out.


Photo: Daniel Tanner/WENN.com


Photo if we were sophia bush 20130122 1869137162 If We Were the Stylist, Sophia Bush Wouldn’t be Blinded by Bangs (& Other Celeb Style Fixes) fashion


Clare Bowen’s Legs Are Growing Moss


I guess this is what happens when you line dance through the bayou, or whatever they do on that show Nashville. I actually don't mind the Zooey Deschanel-approved metallic dress and Heidi-approved vest she wore for an appearance on Good Morning America, but those moldy tights have got to go.


Photo: Mr. Blue/WENN.com


Photo if we were clare bowen 20130122 1519136931 If We Were the Stylist, Sophia Bush Wouldn’t be Blinded by Bangs (& Other Celeb Style Fixes) fashion


Jessica Alba’s Golden Globes Date was a Muppet


I would’ve never in my wildest dreams imagined that Jessica Alba would end up in this column, but it’s happened—next thing you know Ke$ha will be on our Best Dressed list. So I have zero complaints (and actually nothing but accolades) about her coral bustier gown, diamond necklace fit for a queen and bombshell hair, but that furry clutch was a serious misstep. This had better be one of those “I let my adorable daughter pick out my accessories” moments SJP made popular, because the only other explanation is that right after this photo was taken, Elmo’s head peeked out from under her manicure.


Photo: LJT Images/WENN.com


Photo if we were jessica alba 20130122 1530927246 If We Were the Stylist, Sophia Bush Wouldn’t be Blinded by Bangs (& Other Celeb Style Fixes) fashion


Lose the Leather, Jennifer Aniston


I didn’t think it was possible to make Jennifer Aniston look wide, but the pleated skirt on the Christian Dior leather cocktail dress she wore at the People’s Choice Awards pulled it off. She either needed to lose a pleat from each hip, add a belt to define the waist, or just go all out and end up in one of those colonial hoop skirts that fancy ladies wear in Velázquez paintings.


Photos: Kevin Mazur/Getty Images


Photo if we were jennifer aniston 20130122 1897637088 If We Were the Stylist, Sophia Bush Wouldn’t be Blinded by Bangs (& Other Celeb Style Fixes) fashion


Kourtney Kardashian is Another Leather Loser


If you’re not Trinity from The Matrix, there’s simply nothing flattering about a leather turtleneck—especially if you've got curves like a Kardashian, in which case you will end up with the uni-boob effect at right. Probably the only way to make the situation worse is to hike the waistband of your tulip skirt up so high that it sits right under that leather bust-shelf and throw on a pair of platform toe-shoes. It’s a shame, too, because she’s my second-favorite Kardashian.


Photo: NCP/Star Max/Getty Images


Photo if we were kourtney kardashian 20130122 1288792075 If We Were the Stylist, Sophia Bush Wouldn’t be Blinded by Bangs (& Other Celeb Style Fixes) fashion


Famke Janssen


It’s not usually butt-kicking X-Men star Famke Janssen’s fault that John Galliano designed this dress, but it is her fault that she decided to wear it to the Critic’s Choice Movie Awards. Maybe if the lining had gone all the way up to the natural waist instead of enhancing the belly-dancer effect this dress already creates by resting right at a place where no one but Christina Aguilera circa the "Genie in a Bottle" video (and, admittedly, probably Famke Janssen) wants to emphasize, this look could’ve been saved—maybe.


Photo: Brian To/WENN.com


Photo if we were famke janssen 20130122 1303553514 If We Were the Stylist, Sophia Bush Wouldn’t be Blinded by Bangs (& Other Celeb Style Fixes) fashion


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Sophia Bush is Blinded by Bangs


This isn’t an ironic vintage bridal photo—it’s Sophia Bush at the Golden Globes after party wearing a white Denise Ho dress with a sheer skirt and sleeves that they haven’t come up with a name for yet, doing her best Jessica Biel impersonation with bangs that are so long she probably can’t see. I’m not sure if trimming the bangs would make the dress more appealing or if she lost the dress her bangs would become more understandable, but I’m interested in finding out.


Photo: Daniel Tanner/WENN.com


Photo if we were sophia bush 20130122 1869137162 If We Were the Stylist, Sophia Bush Wouldn’t be Blinded by Bangs (& Other Celeb Style Fixes) fashion


Clare Bowen’s Legs Are Growing Moss


I guess this is what happens when you line dance through the bayou, or whatever they do on that show Nashville. I actually don't mind the Zooey Deschanel-approved metallic dress and Heidi-approved vest she wore for an appearance on Good Morning America, but those moldy tights have got to go.


Photo: Mr. Blue/WENN.com


Photo if we were clare bowen 20130122 1519136931 If We Were the Stylist, Sophia Bush Wouldn’t be Blinded by Bangs (& Other Celeb Style Fixes) fashion


Jessica Alba’s Golden Globes Date was a Muppet


I would’ve never in my wildest dreams imagined that Jessica Alba would end up in this column, but it’s happened—next thing you know Ke$ha will be on our Best Dressed list. So I have zero complaints (and actually nothing but accolades) about her coral bustier gown, diamond necklace fit for a queen and bombshell hair, but that furry clutch was a serious misstep. This had better be one of those “I let my adorable daughter pick out my accessories” moments SJP made popular, because the only other explanation is that right after this photo was taken, Elmo’s head peeked out from under her manicure.


Photo: LJT Images/WENN.com


Photo if we were jessica alba 20130122 1530927246 If We Were the Stylist, Sophia Bush Wouldn’t be Blinded by Bangs (& Other Celeb Style Fixes) fashion


Lose the Leather, Jennifer Aniston


I didn’t think it was possible to make Jennifer Aniston look wide, but the pleated skirt on the Christian Dior leather cocktail dress she wore at the People’s Choice Awards pulled it off. She either needed to lose a pleat from each hip, add a belt to define the waist, or just go all out and end up in one of those colonial hoop skirts that fancy ladies wear in Velázquez paintings.


Photos: Kevin Mazur/Getty Images


Photo if we were jennifer aniston 20130122 1897637088 If We Were the Stylist, Sophia Bush Wouldn’t be Blinded by Bangs (& Other Celeb Style Fixes) fashion


Kourtney Kardashian is Another Leather Loser


If you’re not Trinity from The Matrix, there’s simply nothing flattering about a leather turtleneck—especially if you've got curves like a Kardashian, in which case you will end up with the uni-boob effect at right. Probably the only way to make the situation worse is to hike the waistband of your tulip skirt up so high that it sits right under that leather bust-shelf and throw on a pair of platform toe-shoes. It’s a shame, too, because she’s my second-favorite Kardashian.


Photo: NCP/Star Max/Getty Images


Photo if we were kourtney kardashian 20130122 1288792075 If We Were the Stylist, Sophia Bush Wouldn’t be Blinded by Bangs (& Other Celeb Style Fixes) fashion


Famke Janssen


It’s not usually butt-kicking X-Men star Famke Janssen’s fault that John Galliano designed this dress, but it is her fault that she decided to wear it to the Critic’s Choice Movie Awards. Maybe if the lining had gone all the way up to the natural waist instead of enhancing the belly-dancer effect this dress already creates by resting right at a place where no one but Christina Aguilera circa the "Genie in a Bottle" video (and, admittedly, probably Famke Janssen) wants to emphasize, this look could’ve been saved—maybe.


Photo: Brian To/WENN.com


Photo if we were famke janssen 20130122 1303553514 If We Were the Stylist, Sophia Bush Wouldn’t be Blinded by Bangs (& Other Celeb Style Fixes) fashion


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Sophia Bush is Blinded by Bangs


This isn’t an ironic vintage bridal photo—it’s Sophia Bush at the Golden Globes after party wearing a white Denise Ho dress with a sheer skirt and sleeves that they haven’t come up with a name for yet, doing her best Jessica Biel impersonation with bangs that are so long she probably can’t see. I’m not sure if trimming the bangs would make the dress more appealing or if she lost the dress her bangs would become more understandable, but I’m interested in finding out.


Photo: Daniel Tanner/WENN.com


Photo if we were sophia bush 20130122 1869137162 If We Were the Stylist, Sophia Bush Wouldn’t be Blinded by Bangs (& Other Celeb Style Fixes) fashion


Clare Bowen’s Legs Are Growing Moss


I guess this is what happens when you line dance through the bayou, or whatever they do on that show Nashville. I actually don't mind the Zooey Deschanel-approved metallic dress and Heidi-approved vest she wore for an appearance on Good Morning America, but those moldy tights have got to go.


Photo: Mr. Blue/WENN.com


Photo if we were clare bowen 20130122 1519136931 If We Were the Stylist, Sophia Bush Wouldn’t be Blinded by Bangs (& Other Celeb Style Fixes) fashion


Jessica Alba’s Golden Globes Date was a Muppet


I would’ve never in my wildest dreams imagined that Jessica Alba would end up in this column, but it’s happened—next thing you know Ke$ha will be on our Best Dressed list. So I have zero complaints (and actually nothing but accolades) about her coral bustier gown, diamond necklace fit for a queen and bombshell hair, but that furry clutch was a serious misstep. This had better be one of those “I let my adorable daughter pick out my accessories” moments SJP made popular, because the only other explanation is that right after this photo was taken, Elmo’s head peeked out from under her manicure.


Photo: LJT Images/WENN.com


Photo if we were jessica alba 20130122 1530927246 If We Were the Stylist, Sophia Bush Wouldn’t be Blinded by Bangs (& Other Celeb Style Fixes) fashion


Lose the Leather, Jennifer Aniston


I didn’t think it was possible to make Jennifer Aniston look wide, but the pleated skirt on the Christian Dior leather cocktail dress she wore at the People’s Choice Awards pulled it off. She either needed to lose a pleat from each hip, add a belt to define the waist, or just go all out and end up in one of those colonial hoop skirts that fancy ladies wear in Velázquez paintings.


Photos: Kevin Mazur/Getty Images


Photo if we were jennifer aniston 20130122 1897637088 If We Were the Stylist, Sophia Bush Wouldn’t be Blinded by Bangs (& Other Celeb Style Fixes) fashion


Kourtney Kardashian is Another Leather Loser


If you’re not Trinity from The Matrix, there’s simply nothing flattering about a leather turtleneck—especially if you've got curves like a Kardashian, in which case you will end up with the uni-boob effect at right. Probably the only way to make the situation worse is to hike the waistband of your tulip skirt up so high that it sits right under that leather bust-shelf and throw on a pair of platform toe-shoes. It’s a shame, too, because she’s my second-favorite Kardashian.


Photo: NCP/Star Max/Getty Images


Photo if we were kourtney kardashian 20130122 1288792075 If We Were the Stylist, Sophia Bush Wouldn’t be Blinded by Bangs (& Other Celeb Style Fixes) fashion


Famke Janssen


It’s not usually butt-kicking X-Men star Famke Janssen’s fault that John Galliano designed this dress, but it is her fault that she decided to wear it to the Critic’s Choice Movie Awards. Maybe if the lining had gone all the way up to the natural waist instead of enhancing the belly-dancer effect this dress already creates by resting right at a place where no one but Christina Aguilera circa the "Genie in a Bottle" video (and, admittedly, probably Famke Janssen) wants to emphasize, this look could’ve been saved—maybe.


Photo: Brian To/WENN.com


Photo if we were famke janssen 20130122 1303553514 If We Were the Stylist, Sophia Bush Wouldn’t be Blinded by Bangs (& Other Celeb Style Fixes) fashion


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