Remember the guy who said you should never watch how laws or sausages are made? Here is a typical summer scene on the subway (“Metro”) in lovely Washington DC to illustrate your government. Inside the Beltway, represent ya’ll!
Male: Hey, you’re wearing pearls and a sweater in May on the Metro.
Female: Oh, you’re wearing a blue button down and khaki slacks.
Together: We should so talk!
Female: My life goal is to look like Zooey Deschanel.
Male: Mine is to live in Brooklyn. I don’t know where it is.
Male: I am totally shallow and get all my opinions from web sites I accidentally end up on.
Female: I only read web sites that mirror my own shallow thoughts and perpetuate myths I learned as an undergrad.
Male: GW?* (*George Washington University)
Female: UVA? (*University of Virginia)
Male: Oh my God, I got so drunk one time at a GW frat party!
Female: Me too! I did like so many Jello shots and then posted photos of myself with my roommate on Facebook. We wore fake plastic moustaches and pretended to grope each other, for irony.
Male: I randomly troll Facebook to look at such photos of girls I don’t know!
Female: UVA is so cool. My brother’s neighbor played lacrosse there.
Male: So you’re carrying around The Economist and not reading it?
Female: How’d you know! You have briefs from think tanks you don’t read.
Male: I am so busy drinking PBRs* and playing adult kickball and wearing heavy-rimmed black glasses like my Grandpa wore I don’t have any time. (*Pabst Blue Ribbon, drank ironically)
Female: I also wear heavy-rimmed black glasses like my Grandpa. I used to do aerobics but then I switched to yoga because it is now cool and I got to buy new outfits.
Male: I vote for people Jon Stewart likes.
Female: I over-pronounce Stephen Colbert’s name often!
Male: So what do you do?
Female: I work on the Hill. You?
Male: I am the personal assistant to the Deputy Assistant Secretary for Communication and Outreach at the Department of… of… I forgot, but its near Metro Center. Something about the web.
Female: That is so great. We should certainly hang out.
Male. Totally. Georgetown for happy hour shots?
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Source:
http://wemeantwell.com/blog/2013/05/28/summer-in-dc-why-your-government-is-failing/