I am a WAHM (work at home mom). I have a bachelor's degree, and I know what it's like to have a job outside the home.
My degree is in English Education. I worked as a teacher while my husband was in medical school. I went into the teaching profession with high hopes. I was going to be like that teacher in Dead Poets Society. "Carpe Diem" and all that sh*t.
The reality of teaching for me was not that awesome. It was soon clear that this career was not for me. I was not Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society. I was not Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds.
I was more like Zooey Deschanel's teacher character in New Girl. The kids were not eating out of the palm of my hand. I think they thought I was either super weird or a huge nerd. Either way a classroom full of bewildered faces while you're belting out a funky jam about prepositions that goes to the tune of an Echo and The Bunnymen song is not inspiring for anyone.
So when Nate started his residency I decided to "retire" from teaching. I became a student again. I started graduate school. I was one thesis and two classes away from a Master's in Creative Writing when he finished residency and we moved back to our hometown.
Some of you might be thinking Why didn't they wait for Mandy to finish her Master's before they moved? That was my decision. I wasn't that into being a student either. I figured a degree wouldn't magically mean that I'm a writer. You either write well or you don't. I got tired of sitting in writing workshops listening to people read poems that were clear imitations of Mary Oliver or short stories about gritty, young people doing drugs in Jackson Square and complaining.
In one workshop I read a YA story I wrote about the dangers of robotripping (getting high off drinking cough syrup and the story admittedly may not have been that great) and a student in the class said, "Who cares about a bunch of rich kids doing drugs?"
It was clear the students in this class were not my audience either. The characters in my story were middle class. However, the other students could not see past my perceived privilege to appreciate that. I regularly came to class in my Juicy Couture sweats, Hermes scarf wrapped around my head, wearing Uggs while holding my Louis Vuitton Murakami bag. (It was that horrible era where Paris Hilton was a trend setter, and I was "trendy" at the time.) At first glance I seemed like a spoiled, rich woman and thus to some of those doing the looking I must be shallow as well. This was the first time my viewpoint was belittled because someone perceived me as being privileged. I was stymied by this reaction. I wanted to yell, "I AM MANDY. I HAD 3 JOBS AT THE SAME TIME MY SOPHMORE YEAR OF COLLEGE SO I COULD HAVE FOOD AND A GODDAMM COACH PURSE." But I just sat there and stared at the class agreeing with this idiot.
When we got back to our hometown I became a SAHW (stay at home wife). I joined a couple of charity organizations. I became active in our local Medical Alliance. I found my groove. I enjoyed being a woman about town, and I was thankful for being able to do so.
A year or so later in March of 2007, I had my first child, and my title changed from being a SAHW to SAHM (stay at home mom). I enjoyed being a mom. I loved having the means to be able to stay home with my sweet, baby boy. I was very grateful. I never forgot that there were other women out there that would have to sacrifice a lot in order to be in my position.
I eventually went from SAHM to WAHM in 2010 when I launched The Well-Read Wife and began working as a freelance writer. But the years I spent as a SAHW and SAHM are dear to me. They helped me figure out what I wanted to do. I was lucky to have those years, because I was able to find my true career calling while working (yes, it is work) as a SAHW and SAHM.
When I watched Hilary Rosen spout her ignorant diatribe against Ann Romney on Anderson Cooper 360° last night I was incensed. I felt like I was sitting in that fiction class having my story belittled because of my privilege all over again. For those of you that missed it Rosen said the following:
"What you have is Mitt Romney running around the country, saying, 'Well, you know, my wife tells me that what women really care about are economic issues, and when I listen to my wife, that's what I'm hearing.' Guess what? His wife has actually never worked a day in her life," Rosen said on CNN.
"She's never really dealt with the kinds of economic issues that a majority off the women in this country are facing, in terms of how do we feed our kids, how do we send them to school, and why do we worry about their future," Rosen continued, adding that Romney "just seems so old fashioned when it comes to women." (Source: CNN.com.)
Rosen later defended her remarks by explaining she meant "Romney has never had to care for her children and earn a paycheck at the same time like most American women." (Source: WGNTV.com)
This does not excuse Hilary Rosen's remarks.
Just because Ann Romney has never felt the sting of economic issues doesn't mean that she can't be a champion for working women or for mothers who are struggling to raise children and work. The implication that Ann Romney's privilege forfeits her ability to help women is prejudicial.
I am so tired of women attacking women in the media. I don't identify as a Republican or as a Democrat. Both parties have major issues. However, I can't keep my mouth shut or my hands from typing when I see a woman being attacked because of her background.
Ann Romney – I have your back.
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