The Lana Del Rey


OR The Fizzy Vagina


Dr. Pepper, Bourbon, Kahlua and a dash of Mountain Dew, shaken and garnished with a squirt of collagen.


The Zooey Deschanel


OR The Oopsie Daisy


Fresca, Pink Lemonade, cake vodka and a handful of kitten hairs.


Adam Levine


OR The Ear Rape


Vodka, soda, GHB – for someone else.


The Quentin Tarantino


OR The Cameo


Whisky, a drop of his own blood, dynamite.


The Kanye West


OR The Malibuya


Malibu with a long explanation of why you’re drinking Malibu.


The Kristen Stewart


OR The Um … Uh


A PBR with a blend of anxiety pills dissolved in.


The Tyra Banks


OR The Toochie Smize


An appletini with a spritz of Dream Come True fragrance.


The Lena Dunham


OR The Millennial


A bottle of expensive wine you talk too much to drink served with a joint made from a check your parents just wrote you.


-Becky Lang