I've made it a bit of a habit here at Blank Stares and Blank Pages to point the spotlight on criminals who are no good at crime.
Today that tradition continues as we've got another entry into the Bumbling Criminal Hall of Shame.
John Jardini, a 26-year-old from Pittsburgh is our latest entrant for his robbery-turned matchmaking service-turned re-robbery attempt.
If that makes no sense to you, don't worry, most of the story is pretty unbelievable:
Jardini allegedly took $60 from a girl he confronted on Brownsville Road and Nobles Lane.
She had just gotten off a bus and was waiting for her mother.
After the robbery, Jardini called the woman on his cell phone twice, asking her if she had a boyfriend and if she wanted to go out with him.
Police got a search warrant for Jardini's phone records and were on the verge of tracking him down, but then Jardini reportedly assaulted the same girl and her mother outside Zack's Market on Brownville Road.
He was arrested on the spot and positively identified as the guy who earlier robbed the girl.
Is this guy for real?
Like, seriously, are there really people in the world who are this dumb?
He goes out and robs this gal. He gets her number. He then calls her up—apparently forgetting that caller ID is a thing—and asks her out on a date.
I've got to wonder how many times he's tried something like this and I want to know if it has ever worked.
How often do you rob someone and then convince them to join you for a matinee and a slice of Sbarro? Who in their right mind is going to say "heck yes, Robber Guy…I'd love for you to take me out on date with the money you stole from me earlier this week."
Anyway, I digress…
In the end, it doesn't matter as it never even comes down to the date, because this dipshit goes out and assaults the EXACT SAME WOMAN again while the police are working on tracking him down.
I'm not a master criminal or anything. I'm pretty far from it, but I've got to think that common sense would dictate that you don't call your victims and invite 'em out for dinner and you certainly don't assault them a second time.
You take your money. You move along.
Am I missing something here?
Do any of My Faithful Readers have more experience with crime than I do? Can anyone weigh in on what this jackass was thinking, because I'm flummoxed.
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